We live in a society which sees high self-esteem as a proof of well-being, but we do not want to be intimate with this admirable and desirable person. We think we are unique, special and deserving of happiness, but we are terrified of being alone.
Researchers have long understood the toll that social isolation and loneliness take on the body. People who do not feel connected to others are more likely to catch a cold, experience depression, develop heart disease, have lower cognitive function and live a shorter life.
More and more people are working where they live and living where they work, attracted by the promise of greater flexibility. Beyond the lack of interaction with colleagues – there are no ideas by osmosis, no overhearing others talking – there is also the lack of interaction with the wider world.
Loneliness is difficult to confess; difficult too to categorize. Like depression, a state with which it often intersects, it can run deep in the fabric of a person, as much a part of one’s being as laughing easily or having red hair.
What do cities have to do with loneliness? “The way we build and organize our cities can help or hinder social connection,” reads a Grattan Institute report. It’s not that the built environment “causes” interaction, but it can certainly either enable or constrain potential interaction.
For one month, Madeleine Dore declined all in-person activities with friends to see if it would make her more productive – with surprising results. The trick to being successful could, in fact, be simple.